A Sad Moment

As most of you know by know that Mike and I are in the process of adopting a little girl from China. What most of you do not know is that on Thursday we were asked to become the adoptive parents are a young lady locally. It was a very exciting but confusing moment. It was what we originally wanted. Over the weekend I went to visit my parents and was doing a lot of thinking about having a newborn verses and toddler. I was having a hard time knowing which direction to take. I know deep in my heart I would not have been able to turn this baby down but I also didn't want to let the China dream go. I was trying to figure out also if we could do both but I know that would have been very difficult. Yesterday when I got home and went to my friend's house she had told me that the young lady had a miscarriage. It really bothered me, I didn't think that it should but it was like a part of me had been lost. I really had a hard time sleeping last night thinking about the baby and her mother. Below is a poem that I wrote as I was dealing with my fealings about both babies. I now know that I will go to China but am saddened at the thought of it knowing that this little life has been lost.


How do you make a decission so drast
One waiting child has now become two.
Which path to take- I do not know.
How can you leave either child who needs you too.
Oh! What to do? What to do.
One Child has been born in my heart and here comes number 2.
Oh! What to do? What to do?
How do you kow what is right?
When God has placed them both in your site.
Oh! God! Oh! God! Please tell me what's right
When both are so precious in our sight.
Oh! What to do? What to do?
Path number 1 or path number 2
Either path will leave one behind
Oh! What to do?